I talked about this a bit in my last post, but the truth is—my personal experiences have shaped everything I write. I lived in Iran for 27 years. That means most of my youth was spent under the current regime. I saw and heard firsthand how people were treated, and from a young age, I started asking questions.
One of the first moments that really stayed with me happened when I was a kid. We traveled to Turkey—I must have been around seven years old—and I remember seeing my mother and the other women in our group without their hijabs. It was optional there. They had a choice. And that shocked me. I remember thinking, Wait, why are they forced to wear it back home? Why are women, who make up half of our society, being controlled like this? That was one of my earliest experiences that made me start paying attention.
Not long after that, my older brother got in trouble with the morality police—what we call Gasht-e- Ershad. Back then, it could be something as simple as a haircut or wearing a short-sleeved polo shirt that got you arrested. I still remember my dad being so angry, warning my brother not to wear jeans or style his hair in a certain way. People today, even inside Iran, sometimes don’t believe these stories. But they happened. That kind of everyday control left a lasting impact on me, and it’s a thread that runs through my writing.
As I got older, I became more aware of what was happening around me. The internet started to open things up, and we began communicating with people outside Iran. We would smuggle in movies. We would question things more openly. And eventually, it was my turn. I became the one being watched.
I wasn’t someone who followed the rules very well. I wanted to live a normal life, and in Iran, that’s dangerous. Wanting to have a girlfriend, go out, and enjoy your youth! Those things were against the rules. And breaking them could get you arrested. That tension between wanting to live freely and knowing you could be punished for it is something I’ll never forget. It’s in my writing because it was my reality.
Another huge influence on my worldview and my work is the presence of the IRGC, the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps. After the Iran-Iraq war, a whole parallel system of power took shape. Many of those who fought in the war returned home without jobs and started taking over schools, businesses, and key industries. What we have now is a government within a government: a military and economic power structure that doesn’t answer to the people. They control businesses, sports teams, education, everything. And yet, they don’t even carry Iran’s name. Think about that: the Islamic Revolutionary Guard doesn’t exist to serve Iranians. It exists to serve itself.
The president you see on TV doesn’t have the real power. The IRGC and the Supreme Leader make the decisions that shape people’s lives. That kind of shadow government—operating behind the scenes— is real, and it’s dangerous. And again, it’s something that’s found its way into my writing, because I’ve lived through it.
These are the stories, the memories, the truths that influence me every time I sit down to write. They’re not theoretical—they’re personal. And I believe stories rooted in real life carry a weight and urgency that can’t be faked.